It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
