when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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