I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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