Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
