im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
