People in love make me want to vomit
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
