You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
