This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
