I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
