you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
