id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just high enough for therapy.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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