We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Boobs speak an international language.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I AM VODKA MAN
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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