Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
