Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Randomize
