did you get engaged???
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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