Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
This house was built for laser tag.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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