Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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