I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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