Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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