i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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