We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Everclear isn't food dammit
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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