Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We left the knife in your bed.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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