I love black thongs
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the day after is always just damage control
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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