There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
