where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
