Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
