What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
