So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
