The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he shaved USA in his pubs
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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