i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
