That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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