My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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