just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
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he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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