Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
