I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
