Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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