I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
