the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
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