Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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