so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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