i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
