ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
