Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
we're so committed to being not committed
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