the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
