my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
