Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text

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(330): View more from Ohio

When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?

(440): View more from Ohio

What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed

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(810): View more from Michigan

i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors

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(209): View more from California

I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside

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(912): View more from Georgia

He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.

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(305): View more from Florida

I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.

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(848): View more from New Jersey

Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?

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(716): View more from New York

I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag

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