I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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