i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
