he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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