If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
