i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
