never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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