I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize