I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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