I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Green mimosas i think yes
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
