she smelled like a LAN party
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
We talked him into tasing himself.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
