Do you still have your period?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
This baby is an asshole
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
My liver just had a heart attack.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
