We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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