after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
