Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
