Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
