their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
