Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
